You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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