A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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