"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she told me i tasted like america
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
