I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
