Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
