dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
