I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
