The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize