Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
