Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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