Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
