I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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