i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
