I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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