so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
