I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Barsexuality is the new black.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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