You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
