conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
