I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
