i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Panties = found
Randomize
