; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
