No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you never un-have a 4some
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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