We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
