your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
