she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
