week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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