wakey wakey hands off snakey
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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