I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
