I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
