I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
