Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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