I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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