Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
