He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
