Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
