I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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