we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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