Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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