R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
