You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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