cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
