i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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