Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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