I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
PANTIES FOUND
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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