Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
