Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
