i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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