i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
