Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
