DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
