What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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