Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize