I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
