so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
