Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
