And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
