That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
