Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize