thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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