Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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